Fun Page

Fun Page

" PUNERISMS" - Groaners

1. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
2. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
3. A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.
4. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
5. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
6. The batteries were given out free of charge.
7. A dentist and a manicurist got married. They fought tooth and nail.
8. A will is a dead give-away.
9. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I will show you A-Flat miner.
11. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
12. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
13. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
14. Police were called to the day center when a three year old was resisting a rest.
15. Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
16. If you take your laptop for a run, you could jog your memory.
17. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
18. The guy who fell on the upholstery machine was fully recovered.
19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
20. When she saw her first strands of gray, she thought she would dye
Submitted by Margo Caldy

Quotes & Sayings

Today is a smooth white seashell, hold it close and listen to the beauty of the hours. - unknown

When anxious, uneasy and bad thoughts come, I go to the sea, and the sea drowns them out with its great wide sounds, cleanses me with its noise and imposes a rhythm upon everything in me that is bewildered and confused.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.
- William A. Ward

North Palm Beach Yacht Club